Food Poetry in Two Styles

Hello… so we’re going to take it down a little this week, with some food poetry. Specifically, two pieces of different origin and style.

The first piece was on display at the Museum of Anthropology, University of British Columbia. I saw it there in June 2001 with Pina (this unaltered photo was taken there).

Love this poem, written by a present-day Asian Canadian poet who describes the migration of tea from China to Scotland way back when. It caught my eye because not long before the trip I’d worked for Lipton and was still a bit tea-focused, though even without Sir Thomas whispering in my ear, it still struck me as lovely and an important story to tell.

A Recipe for Tea
by Jim Wong-Chu ©

a modest pot
enough for
four
small cups

insert tea

green or fermented
or in a
bag

(the first ships came to trade)
the area was fukien
the traders were scottish

the water
boiled separately

brought it back
bastardized it
made it mud
drowned in heavy cream
two, three teaspoons
of colonial sugar
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The second piece is one that I wrote as an ode to Dan (see May 10 on Planet Marly), my de facto buffalo wing partner in crime. This poem is way different in style from the one by Mr. Wong-Chu, though it's similar in that it also points to a food ritual.

To clarify the phrase “two singles, medium, extra crispy”: "single" is an order of 10 wings at our fave Atomic Wings. In the early days, when our trust was thin-skinned, Dan and I would each order a single, rather than one double, so there’d be a guaranteed balance of wing distribution. "Medium" is the heat level we preferred (heats @ Atomic are: for the sane -- mild, medium, hot; for the insane -- abusive, nuclear, suicidal), and "extra crispy," well that’s the best way to eat 'em... fried just a little bit longer so the skin is crispy, not fatty. And Duff's, La Nova and Anchor are some of "the" wing spots in Buffalo, NY.

The Buffalo Wing Poem
by Marly Miller © 2/22/96
(read in an exhibitionist Beatnik style)

Two singles, medium, extra crispy.

Their coupling, it was Fated.
The word "diet"? Oh puh-LEASE.
The antithesis to "day job"
Is some fat in arteries!

Kindred pals oft take the subway
To the only truth they know:
Tastebuds only quench from flames
From our beloved Buffalo.

Two singles, medium, extra crispy.

Primal visions we imagine
Take the place of beaus or dates:
Orange fingers, orange faces,
Orange napkins, orange plates.

If "one" is if by land,
Well then "two" is if by wings.
How about new honey-mustard
Or barbeque flavorings?

Two singles, medium, extra crispy.

Not a capon, nor some pheasants;
A mere chicken is our kingdom.
We'll be happy being peasants
As we revel in our wingdom!

Go La Nova, or go Duff's, dear.
Too there's Anchor and Atomic.
Followed by some Ben & Jerry's?
Lesser souls would surely vomit.

Fobloog Gripe List (2007)

Below is the conversation that preceded this posting:

Marly -- Hmm, what should I write about this week, maybe it's time to hit that Korean fried chicken place finally...
Diet -- Rubbish! You will not go there and that is final!
Marly -- Don't you take a hint, we're through!
Diet -- I'm the boss of this house, no new food experiences until you lose 2 more pounds and I don't mean British Sterling.
Marly -- Listen you can't control me Diet, I'm gonna squash you...
Diet -- Not if I squash you first (evil wringing of imaginary hands)

And so I, the Diet, voiced liltingly by Jon Lovitz, win blog-posting rites this week. My goal is to talk about food not in an "oh it's so delicious I must have some la la la" way but in a critical, gripe-filled negative way.

A list of food gripes--and my favorite picture that hangs on the wall in my office--in the style of magazine superlative lists (ie. Top Science Fiction films of all time) though here not in any particular order. Readers then send emails to the magazine saying "Yah how could you not mention X on that list you idiot!!!" Well feel free to do the same here, readers, though without the name calling please because even though I am a Diet and make you feel very guilty sometimes, you must know I've only got your best interests at heart.

The Planet Marly Fobloog Gripe List (2007)

1. I wish restaurant check holders had a change-holding area for people who like to give exact change. Instead, the server picks up the check holder and whisks it away and the change flies everywhere.

2. Personally, I think an omelet should be made with 2 eggs. Every sit-down breakfast place I know of makes gigantic armadillo-sized omelets with 3 or 4 eggs. Why, why?

3. While on the topic of breakfast, why isn't the default bacon preparation crispy? Is there any reason I have to ask for this every single time? As if I'm a difficult patron because I don't like eating warm raw fat.

4. How is the FDA protecting us by giving manufacturers of processed foods permission to list the ingredient "sugar" in countless ways.

5. At Gelson's when I buy chicken the chicken guy thinks he's being helpful by handing me a different pack of chicken than the one in my basket, and then he says "Take this one, it's fresher." To which I can only say "Hey thanks for letting me know you sell unfresh chicken!"

6. Why do a majority of frozen entrees add in red bell pepper where red bell pepper has no business being? It's only added for color! All those innocent frozen flavorless peppers, used for that one ridiculous thing.

7. Health warnings on Diet Coke cans are written in a secret language -- "PHENYLKETONURICS: CONTAINS PHENYLALANINE." Does ANYone (ok who hasn't done a thesis paper on nutrasweet) know what that means? Why can't they say what it means??

8. Did you know that even though Brummel & Brown margarine's claim of "made with real yogurt" is true, it's only dehydrated yogurt powder in there? No yogurt taste or benefit whatsoever. To which I say...congratulations B&B on fooling people on at least two continents.

9. Do American candy bar companies really think all it takes to increase candy bar sales is to create sorta-new versions of their popular candy bars by adding yawn-quality caramel to it? Get a clue.

10. I've been waiting for a Food Court to have an option of healthier foods that actually taste good, don't cost a fortune and aren't 80% iceberg lettuce. Yes I have found such a place in Santa Clarita, but that doesn't help me much when I'm at every other mall or airport Food Court on the planet.

Ok that's it! If anything's missed, please let us know.

Planet Marly Goes on a Diet

Oh readers, you've been so patient with me. How long have I been promising to post my years-in the-making Fried Chicken Report. I know you're waiting for this, and I am soooo sorry.

Truth is, while reminiscing about crispy skin I've also self-elected myself to review all of Ben & Jerry's new flavors (Stephen Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream, Willie Nelson’s Country Peach Cobbler, Cinnamon Buns, revamped S'more, although not yet getting around to Banana Split or Crème Brulee)...and THAT is when I realized, while in the changing room at the bathing suit store, that taste testing ice cream and fried chicken is not conducive to wearing a bathing suit!! (Who's saying "duh" out there, I will find you!)

So for this issue of Planet Marly Food Blog I cannot really talk about food, says my short-term yet cruel diet. When even an innocent Spudnut donut got rejected this morning, well then that's when you know my dedication is on fire.

While we're on the subject of trimming, are you with me when I say there are too many words in the phrase "food blog." How 'bout I call this a fooblog instead? a fobloog? a floog? Has this been done before? I'd like to call it a floog, but according to the urban dictionary "floog" means a whiny little British girl, and this food blog is in no way a whiny little British girl. Rather, it is a detour (today only), on the topic of movies. Oh yeah I am psyched.

First up, a basic refresher on movie etiquette: NO talking, cell phones, texting, long-term whispering or snack bag crinkling. But this isn't news, you already know this.

And here's the summer flicks I've seen so far, rated on a 1 to 4 M&M scale:
Disturbia = mmm
Knocked Up = mm 1/2
Mr. Brooks = mm 1/2
Paris j'Taime = mmmm
Spiderman 3 = mm 1/2
Surf's up = mmm

Alas thinking about movies just leads me to think more about movie popcorn. And due to this diet it's true I gave up my ritual of the buttered 'corn fix Sunday at the AMC. Popcorn is now all I can think about, pop pop, crunch crunch, wafting butter smell wafting butter smell. Ok ok you've made your point, maybe I am weak and can't post to this fobloog without mentioning food. Let's just run with it... Here is a short list of items I like to add to my popcorn:

1. butter
1a. butter and Louisiana hot sauce
1b. butter and shredded Cheddar cheese and pecans and black pepper
2. butter-flavored oil
2a. butter-flavored oil and plain M&Ms
3. sour cream and chive flavor
4. white cheddar flavor
5. truffle oil and sea salt

And you wonder why I'm on a diet??